Dear Mom Looking for Friends,
Do you ever wonder if spending the time to build friendships at this stage in your life is worth it?
I mean, really, it is a lot of work at this point. It’s way easier to stay cocooned within your little family life. Do your own thing, mind your own busy, and just love the pudding out of your kids. It takes a boat load of work to manage a family, and be involved in those little people’s lives. And, oh yeah, it is a massive commitment nurturing a relationship with your husband.
While some aspects of that lifestyle are a necessity, some of those practices are not the best. As moms we need friendships. Especially friendships with other moms.
Have you been hurt in the past? Maybe vulnerability feels like too much. I get it. Truly.
Or maybe someone wants a deeper friendship with you, but you’re fine with keeping it acquaintance level. Honestly, you can’t be good friends with everyone. As much as that stinks, some personalities don’t mesh, or you’re just in different seasons. That’s okay! You don’t need to be enemies just because you aren’t buddy buddy. Wish them well, be kind and courteous, and focus on who is in range.
I’m a huge advocate for MOPS (Mother’s of Preschoolers).
This international organization has local groups almost everywhere and they are hands down awesome. One of the biggest reasons I love MOPS is the chance for building authentic friendships. My own local group has seriously bloomed into a garden.
While not every single mom is a BFF with every other mom in the group, we are in the same season, so we get each other’s struggles. We know that we are not alone. I’m especially so proud of my local community of moms that intentionally take care of each other. Having the chance to encourage, help, and have fun with these women is such an avenue of joy for me.
I would soon discover how much blessings are in these friendships.
About 5 weeks ago was my oldest daughter’s kindergarten graduation. It was late in the afternoon and we were all upstairs playing and getting ready for Claire’s big celebration. All was fantastic, and then faster than a frightened bunny, my little guy sped away from me, tripped right in front of the stairs, and started to roll. It was one of those moments you don’t blink or even think. I just dove towards him with outstretched arms. I instantaneously experienced some of the worst pain of my life.
My right knee had caught the corner of the landing with a force that sent fireworks through my entire nervous system. With my sweet boy safely in my arms at the top at the landing, a howl erupted from my mouth and I could not contain the screaming that followed. Even though Victor was safe from harm, that poor boy got the living daylights scared out of him. My girls rushed to my side in terror and great concern. “My knee!” I bellowed. Uncontrollable tears and wailing continued to pour out and got louder as all four of us lay in a massive crying heap. I managed to ask Claire and Evie to get Victor to his room and close the door to keep him safe.
I needed help. Fast. Where’s my phone?!
Thankfully, my phone was in my back pocket. It’s usually laying on the kitchen counter when we are home, so I was beyond grateful I actually had it on me. I struggled to get ahold of my husband at the base, but I finally managed and he was on his way home. This would take about 40 minutes though, and I really needed help in the meantime. The pain was so overwhelming at this point that I was button mashing hoping someone would pick up. My dear friend, Leigh was suddenly on the line. “I’ll be right over!” she responded. In 5 minutes this sweet lady was by my side and helped calm everyone down.
Fast forward to a few hours in the emergency room, missing my daughter’s graduation, and home with 5 stitches, a knee immobilizer, and crutches; I’m frantically texting family and friends updating them all. Now, this huge question looms. What am I going to do? The ER doctor strictly ordered me to not even think of bending my knee until the stitches were out in 9 days! In case you didn’t know, there are so many things you can’t do with an unbendable knee. And some things you can do are really difficult to accomplish, like walking upstairs (all the bedrooms are upstairs).
Mom friends to the rescue!
Within hours my hero mom community set up meals for the next 9 days. The upcoming weekend was a guard weekend (of course) and I had friends volunteering to come over for an hour or two to help with the kids and house. To be in the middle of this storm and experience love like this is beyond amazing. That’s real friendship. Don’t miss out on that. This type of community is worth the vulnerability and it is worth the time investment.
I almost didn’t add this, but I think it’s worth a mention because if I’m being completely honest, this needs said.
Constantly asking for and receiving help was hard. There was so much I just could not do on my own. This was a good thing in two different ways. First, I relied on God’s strength way more than usual. This needs to be done DAILY; it’s powerful and soul transforming. Secondly, the bonds of friendship grow deeper roots through adversity.
In talking with one of my friends about how overwhelmed I felt by the outpouring of support she simply responded, “You do the exact same thing for us.” And she’s right. I don’t hesitate to help when there is a need I know I can fill, and I don’t do it begrudgingly. It’s a joy for me to serve and encourage. Likewise, it brings joy to these dear women when they are blessing me. Service multiplies blessings ten times over, and it pleases the Lord. Dear Moms, don’t miss out on that.
How do you build mom friendships? What are some local communities you’re involved in?
I would love to hear your answers in the comments below!
Sharing is Caring!