How to be a Powerful Peacemaker at Home

Dear Moms,

So you want to learn how to be a powerful peacemaker in your home. Join the club, mama, because we are ALL struggling with defusing daily battles. Momming is some of the toughest work in the books. I want to introduce you to my dear friend, Alex, who is guest posting on being a peacemaker homemaker. She’s one of my dear MOPS friends that is an absolute gem in my life. Her friendly, gentle spirit is so uplifting in the daily grind of motherhood.


As a mom are you diffusing daily battles? Read how to be a Powerful Peacemaker at Home.

Peacemaker Homemaker by Alex

My prayer over my heart lately is to be a pacemaker over my home. I read 1 Samuel 25 recently and got lost in Abigail’s poise. This lovely woman unexpectedly ripped open my heart to what it means to be a peacemaker.

{A quick background of Abigail’s story}

Abigail’s husband, Nabal, was extravagantly wealthy. He could afford banquets fit for kings. Nabal was also a drunken unbeliever. Despite this, Abigail stood faithful to her vow.

At the same time, David and his fugitive army were running from King Saul. David sent a few of his men to approach Nabal to request food for the hungry army. They received insults and a rude refusal. After David heard the report, he set out in revenge to kill Nabal and his family. However, one of the servants told Abigail how her husband shamefully reacted.

She responded by immediately and secretly gathering bread, animals, cakes and anything she could put on her donkeys. Abigail met David and his army on the way to his camp. She fell to her face in humility. With wise and kind words, Abigail offered an apology for her foolish husband. David’s heart was turned. He praised God and blessed her.

Abigail was a peacemaker.

Abigail was a peacemaker because she was generous

These are the items that Abigail quickly gathered to take to David’s army…“She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys.” ( 1 Samuel 25:18) Can you imagine the relief that David felt seeing all that food to feed his men? Abigail’s generosity completely shut down David’s need for revenge. In 1 Samuel 25: 33 David responded, “May you be blessed for your good judgment and for keeping me from bloodshed this day and from avenging myself with my own hands.”

Generosity has such great power in our homemaking. Even though my family might not comment on the beautiful meal that I created for them, and it may get messy and loud (especially if you have 3 under 4), it is still an offering of peace. The meal brings everyone together. And I humbly prepared it for them.

I really want the Lord to grow me in this. I want to be generous in everything; in giving more compassion and forgiveness. I want to be generous with my recourses and my talents.  And I really want to be generous with giving my home and family my attention more than outside things.

Abigail was a peacemaker because she used wise and kind words

When Abigail met David and his army she imminently bowed at his feet and said in 1 Samuel 25:24:31 “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. 25 Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name—his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent. 26 And now, my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. 27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you.

28 “Please forgive your servant’s presumption. The Lord your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my lord, because you fight the Lord’s battles, and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live. 29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the Lord your God, but the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. 30 When the Lord has fulfilled for my lord every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him ruler over Israel, 31 my lord will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself. And when the Lord your God has brought my lord success, remember your servant.”

Our words hold power

Abigail interceded on her family’s’ behalf but she also becomes a messenger of the Lord. Abigail’s words are supernatural and from a heart that fears the Lord. She is an example of the importance of how to use words in an intense situation. Loud harsh words could have brought the war but wise kind word brought peace. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Our words in our home and over our family are everything. I want my words to be wise and kind so that it makes space for the Lord to use my words even more.

I’ve been a homemaker now for 8 years. The last 5 of those 8 years we had three children. I’ve seen the true natures of all of my family come out, including myself. Our home is in a constant spiritual battle. The enemy wants to take away my family’s unity and drive us more into our own selfishness.

The need to be a peacemaker in my home.

I know I am not the only homemaker that feels like I am attempting to defuse battle after battle between my kids.Click To Tweet

As Abigail crossed my path recently, she has ripped open my heart not only what it means to be a peacemaker but the need of one in my home. Abigail’s example of generosity and kind wise words has been a priceless example to me as I try to defuse these daily battles. However, underneath the surface, Abigail’s wisdom comes from her fear of the Lord and I must not rely on my own abilities to be a peacemaker. I need the Lord’s help to do this work in me. I’ve seen God’s good work in me as I pray over my family and seek His words as often as I can. I’m believing that peace is growing in my home and I’m so grateful to have found a friend in Abigail.

(Read 1 Samuel 25:1-42 & 2 Samuel 3:3 to hear the rest of Abigail’s story)

Alex prayplaypaint on instagram

Alex does interior decorating, amazing DIY, and tons of crafty awesomeness for our MOPS group. To see for yourself head over to her Instagram and be prepared to get totally inspired.

How do you work on becoming a peacemaker in your home?
I’d love to hear your answers in the comments!


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  1. marriedbyhisgrace says:

    Wow, this was so good. I was literally intrigued the entire writing. Loved how simply you described Abigail and how she demonstrated peace. Would love to read more from you! Sara, thank you for letting Alex share on here. I followed her on Instagram and hope to see more from both of you soon! Sharing this post!

  2. Such a coincidence that I just read 1 Samuel 25 myself! I was also mesmerized by Abigail’s example. I love how you connected generosity to peacemaking. I never would have thought of that! I also think it is a great example that Abigail trusted God in the midst of suffering under a less than ideal husband. Instead of going to Nabal and yelling at him for his behavior, she discreetly took care of the matter and trusted God to deal with Nabal. And that He did!

    • Alex says:

      We first heard of Abigail’s story at VBS a few weeks ago. I was doing a craft with the kids and I asked the question, “peacemakers are what…?” And the word “generous” totally came out of my mouth from the Holy Spirit. That was the moment where generosity took on a whole new meaning to me and I started my study on Abigail. Think of all those world ministries or our country that goes to the victims of devistation. Their generosity of goods and time is totally a complete peace offering and I love thinking about that. Thanks for your comment!

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