I have no real concept of time.
Breakfast, diapers, snack, diapers, lunch, diapers, nap, diapers, snack, diapers, dinner, diapers, bedtime, still won’t go to sleep, diapers, real bedtime, breakfast…
So, that’s how I feel sometimes with a 2-year-old and basically 1-year-old, especially when my hubby is gone. But I can’t live my life with that outlook or I won’t see all the sunshine moments.
A peanut butter and jelly Eskimo kiss moment. A chubby toddler hand holds my hand moment. A six tooth smile just for me moment.
There’s a chance it might be a bad moment. A “I-can’t-believe-that-much-poop-came-out-of-your-little-body” moment. A rubber leg won’t get dressed moment. A screaming toddler tantrum moment.
But each moment is part of this hourglass of life and the sand doesn’t stand still. And if I have this life I should enjoy it. Even when it is exhausting I still should enjoy this life and when the clouds lift the sun will be brighter.
I’m glad of what I’ve got and don’t want to wish it away. Even when it is hard and I’m sleep deprived and all three girls just miss our man in camo gear and the weight of his absence is heavier than a fighter jet.
But he’ll come home, and he’ll be home soon (though it never seems soon enough), and that’s more than some military wives get. And it’s more than some mothers have ever gotten or can ever dream to get.
So, I’m lucky, and I’m blessed, and my struggles are not uniquely mine.
It’s a moment of time, and then it will be gone. Another deployment will be just another memory.